This is Erin, born 14 weeks early, weighing only 428g/15oz. She spent 148 days in the Royal Brisbane and Woman’s Hospital NICU. She’s two weeks old in this photo

Story by Rebecca… mum to Erin 

Her story, my story, OUR story

Two days before the birth of my daughter I went to the hospital for a follow up scan after she measured two weeks small during her morphology ultrasound.

The images were fuzzy, nowhere near as clear as they were two weeks prior; our tech said that this indicated low amniotic fluid. She also said that at 26 weeks gestation our baby was only measuring 23 weeks. So, after a consult with an obstetrician who specialized in “troubled pregnancies”, I was admitted and we were told the worst. Our little girl had only a 10% chance of survival.

After a day spent in the birthing centre I finally had a bed—in the maternity section where I got to listen to all the healthy babies crying while their mothers cooed and cared for them. I cried most of the night. Every time I heard someone’s child stirring I’d think, “My baby is not going to cry”.

Thursday morning our daughter was born via C-section weighing 428g. She surprised the doctors, and the paediatric team decided she was well enough for them to stop and show me her before she was wheeled to the NICU.

During the first couple of weeks I was numb. Visiting the hospital was hard but not as hard as seeing my child attached to all those machines. She was incredibly fragile. More like a baby than I’d expected but not like any baby I’d ever seen before. Her skin was translucent and paper thin. So delicate those even simple, ordinary things like nappy changes caused it to tear and bleed.

After the shock wore off I existed in a trance of sorts. I didn’t want to visit the hospital but it had become harder to stay away. My life became about doing what was best for my daughter. Pumping every three hours around the clock and spending hours sitting by her isolette; talking to her through the perspex, comforting her as best I could without actually being able to pick her up. It’s the most unnatural thing to know your child is upset and not be able to fix it. To this day that still hurts my heart.

She was five weeks old before I was able to hold her. She was tiny; I couldn’t even feel her weight amongst the blankets. I remember the way her little ear, devoid of cartilage, pressed against my chest as she lay there just below my chin. Until that point I thought I’d bonded with her like any mother does, but I was wrong.

As the nurses moved away leaving us alone, with my eyes closed and Erin settled upon my chest I felt a rush of affection. To smell her and kiss her tiny head was beyond anything that I’d experienced till that point. It was incredible.

All in all we spent 148 days in hospital, but it didn’t end there. Since coming home we’ve been faced with more challenges and many difficult days. But we’ve been lucky. Erin is an exceptional child; she’s happy and healthy and suffers from no long-term effects of her very early birth

 April 2009 

Thank you to Bec and Erin for sharing this story. 

Its a hard road to travel and for any parents, friends or family who have been down this road…  it really IS a hard one.  They say a rollercoaster ride… and it really is!

If you have a premature baby story you would like to share, please email me with approx 500 words, baby pic and one now of your premmie baby.  I found that sharing really is therapeutic for others who have gone through this journey.

I plan to put my own story down this week and send in some pics….  hope you do too.  email yours to admin at latoriana.com.au

July 31st is the NATIONAL PREMMIE DAY 

  please support your local group or www.prembaby.org.au

warmly

Elizabeth xx

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