Tiana arriving on a magical unicorn.. I do believe that our angels helped to create a miracle for us. Thanks to Argnesh for this pic of Tiana and our angels. Its priceless. See more of her work here  and also here

another year passes this week

Its 8 years since my girls lost their battle with prematurity and became angels…

… I still feel like it was only last week, the excitement of knowing we were having twins, then “everything happened”

… I still will “never” get over their loss

… I still often look into the back of the seat and think there should be 3 little girls laughing and giggling

… I still cant go past the hospital where I had to leave empty handed… I will never forget that drive out of the carpark, it was the hardest thing in my life.  I wanted to run all the way back inside and get them

… I often stammer a little when a stranger asks “oh, how many children do you have?” do I tell them I have 3? and fear their reaction or lack of, if I tell them that only one lives at home as 2 have passed away? or do I not tell them and feel I have done an injustice to my girls?

… I still feel the softness of my girls and can smell their scent when I close my eyes

… I still cry, and sometimes really sob when I hear the song “fly” by Celine Dion.   

… I still remember that first mothers day… with a heavy heart and empty arms. The pain all over again. Read a bit more about that here

… I still feel the loss so terribly

… I still visit the cemetery every week and pop flowers in their graves and clean their plaque, and wonder  “what if….”

… I still get angry at ladies in the supermarket who yell or smack their kids for just “being kids”… (If only my girls were here)

… I still cry when listening to the news… at the abandonment of babies, and the neglect and the emotional and physical trauma many kids go through

… I still feel very close to my girls and always use their names when talking about our family. They ARE part of our family.

… I still have a photo of them up at home, and no longer feel I have to make other people feel “comfortable”

… I still talk about them and answer questions as they arise by our 6 yr old daughter.  She has grown up always knowing, and knows she has 2 gorgeous special angel sisters watching over her

… I still feel angry about some of the management at the time

… I still feel saddened by how some friends “left me alone” feeling I needed time.  and how one friend took 6 years to talk to me, see me and talk about it as “she” was uncomfortable

… I still remember being so so scared… more scared than anything in my whole life

… I still miss a heartbeat and hold my breathe when I hear a friend having dramas in pregnancy

… I still wish, I REALLY wish ….things were different

.. I still long for and wish my girls were here with me

Warmly Elizabeth xx
mum to 3 beautiful prem girls

“some can only dream of angels, we created 2, and they sent us an earthly miracle”

 soon…  one day… will tell the whole story….

 remember July 31st is the NATIONAL PREMMIE DAY we are giving a % of sales to

and also National Premmie Foundation

  please support your local group or www.prembaby.org.au

Jordan

  Bianca’s story   

My journey on this road to discovery, began early in 2001, when I found out that I was pregnant with my first child!  Like all expectant parents we were very excited.  I did all the right things, no soft cheese, no caffeine, no deli meats, no, no, no!

Everything appeared to be going fine, but on the 1^st of December at 6:55am, I received the most precious gift, albeit a little early!  Jordan Nicholas entered the world just under 7 weeks early, weighing 4lb 15oz (2230g)!  Fortunately, only a week or two prior to Jordan’s birth a new mother came to speak at our ante natal class, who had a baby born at 32 weeks gestation as well, so I was able to take strength from her story.  One of the things that rang true from her story to mine, was the day I left hospital without my baby!  She had said that the hardest thing that she experienced was leaving the hospital without her baby.  Right up until I left the hospital I was adamant that it was a good thing that the baby was staying behind, the hospital could provide the right care for him and it would give me time, in the ensuing weeks to properly prepare to bring a baby home!  Well, I did not think that you could feel so much pain and trauma, in removing yourself from such a small little baby, but I cried and cried!  I left my baby and my heart in that special care nursery!

After 3 weeks of expressing and keeping a constant vigil by my babies bedside from 6:30am to 6:30 pm (I may as well have been paid staff!), we were finally lucky enough to bring our baby home!  It was so exciting, daunting and mind blowingly amazing, it felt like Christmas morning everyday!

As time went on, my baby boy grew, he had a few small hiccups along the way, a couple of operations for ingrainal hernia’s, but was strong and determined.  As soon as he could roll, he was off.

Two months after my baby’s first birthday we found out that I was pregnant with our second child.  For some reason I knew that this time I would go early, but expected it to only be a month early!  Unfortunately at 25 weeks gestation I was in labour and sent to Melbourne.  I was optimistic, but did cry as I told my Husband on the phone what was going to happen.  I remained as calm as possible and told the midwives on the way out of the hospital that I would be back at 28 weeks and then 32 weeks and all would be well.  Fortunately or unfortunately I did make it past 25 weeks, but not past 28!  On Saturday the 26^th of July 2003, I again was in labour, my waters broke and a transfer was not an option.  My second baby boy was born breach by natural delivery on the Theatre table at 3:35pm!  He weighed 1120g (2lb 11oz), had an Apgar of 1 at 5 mins, which increased to 4 at 10 minutes!  He was one very sick little boy, but again, I was so proud, I thought that my heart would jump out of my chest!  The only times that I saw him on that day were, as they pulled one of his legs from me and then passed him to the waiting paediatric team, when they wheeled me to the Special Care Unit, where all I saw was medical people standing around a flat bed with lights.  My midwife, Rosie, gave me two photos that they had taken of my baby boy, even black and blue from the waist down I thought he was the most beautiful baby in the world!  I saw him for the final time, that night at around 9:30pm, where I was able to look at him and touch his precious little hand, through a perspex womb, just before he was placed into the care of the amazing NETS team who would deliver him safely to Melbourne.  As I was staring at him, in his new little home, we named him Samuel Thomas! 

The hospital stays were not the way that I had expected to bring my babies into the World, but they have taught me so much about my beautiful boys, myself, and the strength that we all carry within us!

When we finally returned home for good, I was fortunate enough to have been provided a fantastic Maternal and Child Health nurse who guided us through the joys of being a mother to prem babies, she also suggested that I attend a new playgroup especially for prem babies that was starting up soon, she assured me that I would love the woman who was starting the group up!  How right she was, the first time that I attended the premmie playgroup, I felt comfortable to be around other families who understood the sadness and happiness of the smallest milestones that many families, with full term babies often take for granted, like moving from a humidicrib to at ‘big bed’, graduating from gavage feeds to full bottle or breast feeds, and rooming in just before you get to take your baby home!!!

As time moved on, as it does, I become friends with Amanda, who set the group up and offered to help out in any way I could.  A stronger, more determined woman, you would be hard pressed to find, she became my mentor and dear friend, as we worked together to build Loddon Mallee Kids.  I am so lucky to have been able to work with and learn from one of life’s gems!

Today Loddon Mallee Kids, makes weekly visits to the Special Care Nurseries at  Bendigo hospitals’, has a weekly playgroup and is a founding member of the National Premmie Foundation.

 For more information please contact; 1300 prembaby or follow the links from www.prembaby.org.au

Loddon Mallee Kids is a not for profit parent support charity for people who have premature or sick children.  LMK runs weekly playgroup sessions for parents to chat with others who have had premature or sick children in hospital, to ensure that support for these families continues long after the children have ‘graduated’ from hospital.  LMK also does weekly hospital visits offering the opportunity for parents to speak with others who have been through the premature journey.  Parent gift packs are given to all families who have children in the Special Care Baby Units at Bendigo Health and Saint John of God hospitals, providing valuable information for parents who struggle to come to terms with the journey that they embark on.  LMK is a founding member of the National Premmie Foundation.

10 % of all sales from the premmie baby catagory at www.LaToriana.com.au will go directly to Loddon Mallee Kids and also  National Premmie Foundation til end of July.

Thanks Bianca for sharing.  I can personally vouch for the amazing work Amanda and Bianca have done with Loddon Malle Kids, and I feel extreemly lucky to be able to support and volunteer to help an amazing group.  Please jump onto both the above websites in support.

Warmly

Elizabeth xx

 Have you seen us on facebook? why not follow us!

La Toriana’s Profile
          

At La Toriana we have a passion for kids fashion.

Our labels include, Alimrose, annieB, Lambykins, Fairy Floss Creations, Eternal Creation, Vanchi, TikiBoo Kids, Little Pearls for Little Girls, Tea Princess, Three Little trees, Tummbear, babyjo bamboo baby wear, nest organics, early birds premature baby clothes, teeny weeny premmie baby wear, Oopsidaisi, boxy design, anamalz, Briit design, Bump buddy, cheeky little soles, Sounds for silence, Deshabille, eco peko, fINNIGAN fINN, gertie and me, Hey baby, huggalugs, i candy, lazybones, locolili, miniwhisk, mon tresor, nana huchy, nanny pickle, OOBI baby, penny scallan, Tabitha Emma, Tippie Toes, Princess ratbag, Alannah Rose stationary, Vintage Kid, Wild Things of Noosa and so many more!

We have the best online collection of premmie baby clothing, premature baby gifts and keepsakes too.  We showcase great Australian and New Zealand designers as well as neonatal and NICU appropiate baby clothing as well as organic premmie clothes and accessories.  Checkout our vast range of premmie wear and newborn baby items in our secure online baby boutique.  If you are looking for a baby that has been born prematurely, then you ahve come to the right online store.  La Toriana specialise in providing great quality, stylish and affordable designer leabel products for low weight babies and babies born early.

Zucchini cake + carrot cake = zucchini and carrot muffins

Thank you Rebecca for sharing your KooL KidZ with us

A day in the kitchen today to keep the troops occupied while its raining outside. I am not complaining!
We attempted to combine 2 cake recipes and then make muffins out of them instead. I *think* it worked (as I eat my 4th for the day).  (By Rebecca)

Zucchini and Carrot Muffins
(makes about 24)

2 eggs
1 1/2 cups caster sugar
2/3 cup olive oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 cup self-raising flour
1 tsp baking powder
2 tsp cinnamon
2 cups grated grated zucchini (lightly packed)
1 cup grated carrot (lightly packed)
2 cups crushed pineapple
1/2 cup almond meal
Icing sugar for dusting

Preheat oven to 180°C.
Combine eggs, sugar, oil and vanilla.
Sift in flour, baking powder and cinnamon.
Fold in zucchini, carrot, pineapple and almond meal.
Grease 2 large muffin trays and spoon in mixture, about 2/3 full.
Bake for around 15 minutes, checking regularly. Muffins are cooked when loely and brown.
Allow to cool slightly, then place on a wire rack to cool completely.
Dust with icing sugar.
These muffins keep well for 4-5 days in an airtight container.

………………………………………………………………………………………….

What a great indoor WINTER project to do with the kids.  Kids love “creating” and I have found that having them hands on in making healthy foods really gets them inspired to eat new foods.  Thanks Rebecca for sharing this recipe with us.  Looks like its great fun from your pics….  

if you have a kids recipe, craft project, tips or money saving idea… send them in with a pic and name/age of your child and we will send you a little something when its live on our blog. email to info at latoriana.com.au

warmly

elizabeth xx

 Have you seen us on facebook? why not follow us!

La Toriana’s Profile

At La Toriana we have a passion for kids fashion.

Our labels include, Alimrose, annieB, Lambykins, Fairy Floss Creations, Eternal Creation, Vanchi, TikiBoo Kids, Little Pearls for Little Girls, Tea Princess, Three Little trees, Tummbear, babyjo bamboo baby wear, nest organics, early birds premature baby clothes, teeny weeny premmie baby wear, Oopsidaisi, boxy design, anamalz, Briit design, Bump buddy, cheeky little soles, Sounds for silence, Deshabille, eco peko, fINNIGAN fINN, gertie and me, Hey baby, huggalugs, i candy, lazybones, locolili, miniwhisk, mon tresor, nana huchy, nanny pickle, OOBI baby, penny scallan, Tabitha Emma, Tippie Toes, Princess ratbag, Alannah Rose stationary, Vintage Kid, Wild Things of Noosa and so many more!

We have the best online collection of premmie baby clothing, premature baby gifts and keepsakes too.  We showcase great Australian and New Zealand designers as well as neonatal and NICU appropiate baby clothing as well as organic premmie clothes and accessories.  Checkout our vast range of premmie wear and newborn baby items in our secure online baby boutique.  If you are looking for organic wear for a baby that has been born prematurely, then you have come to the right online store.  La Toriana specialise in providing great quality, stylish and affordable designer label products for low weight babies and babies born early.